Thursday, September 29, 2011

Independence Is a Messy Transition



Daniel appeared like a little man sitting in his miniature chair at the table and taking fist-fulls of fruit and shoving it into his mouth while surrounded by his new friends at day care.

One of the things Daniel's day care begins teaching all of the children upon arrival is how to become more independent. He has only been attending for about a week and already he wants to be more like the 18 month old children in his class.

"I'm losing my baby," Claudia exclaimed at one moment. 

Yeah, Daniel is starting to do a few more new things and we're realizing progress can be messy. It's cute to watch him be a little man eating at his miniature chair and table in day care. Frankly, we don't have to clean up the mess on the floor afterwards. At home, it's a different story.

Daniel is starting to use a spoon. By that, I mean he holds it in one hand while shoveling food into his mouth with the other. He pauses and looks at you. A grin creeps across his face. He knows how to use the spoon but prefers the feeling of soft banana squishing in his fist while eating.

Before day care, we would spoon feed Daniel the majority of his food. He would eat pieces of fruit by hand, but that was about all. Now he is eating by hand pasta, vegetables, fruit and whatever else we give him. Some days are cleaner than others.

In other developments, Daniel is starting to finally gain enough confidence to walk by himself - even if he is making it into a game.

He crawls out of his bedroom and into the nearby bathroom out of view. Then, he'll burst into the doorway and waddle his way toward you with a huge grin, laughing and arms pointed toward the ceiling. 

He totally knows what he is doing.

We receive daily reports from day care and they say he is starting to cruise around a lot more. That's definitely a welcome change for the staff, if not for Claudia and I who love to tote him around like an accessory. 

One day I observed him in his class room and everyone was standing in a line to go outside. Daniel was the last child in line. It was hard to see him because he was sitting down. The teachers opened the door and children walked outside. 

"Wait a minute. Let's see if he'll crawl outside, " one teacher said to another.

Daniel began crawling out the door, but about the time he got to the doorway he noticed something fascinating on the ground. 

I could see him pick it up in his hand and pull it close to his face to inspect the object of curiosity. The teacher, still holding the door patiently, just tilted her head to one side. The other teacher finally picked him up and took him outside.

Maybe Daniel's transition from baby to toddler won't be messy on all fronts. Some changes will be welcome, like sleeping the entire night; and others will make us remember with fondness when he was just a little bit more dependent on us, like when we're cleaning our kitchen floor after every meal.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Daddy Duty & Daycare

The words "Tata" frequently echo throughout the house and each time I swell with pride.

I never tire of hearing that infantile pronunciation of Da-da Daniel says. For the past three weeks, I've enjoyed working double duty between taking care of my son and answering phone calls, showing property and trying to negotiate real estate deals. It's been a tough juggling act at times and I'm thankful to everyone's patience - especially Daniel's.

But between the calls and various interruptions, there's a bond that's formed between us. I don't have the same routine as my wife when she took care of Daniel for two months. I didn't have the luxury of being completely away from work. But I ended up with my routine and Daniel is still alive. That equals success in my book.

Our bond is apparent in his smile and the way he laughs when we play. But it didn't come easily. The first week was really difficult for both of us. The second week felt like I had been doing this gig forever. But before I knew it, my time with Daniel at the house was coming to an end.

Our "new normal" begins next week. That's when Claudia and I will return to work full-time and Daniel will go to day care. Claudia and I haven't been full-time at work at the same time since May 21. We've attempted to transition Daniel by taking him to the day care a few times, but unfortunately he was sick last week and we've only taken him for half a day so far. September 15 will be his first full day.

Did I mention the reason for the half day?

No. Oh, well, okay. Allow me to explain. The day care is highly rated. The best there can be supposedly. It has an observation room where parents can stop by and watch their children unnoticed. Claudia and I visited the observation room around noon that day.

It was nap time and all of the children were sleeping - except Daniel. He was laying on his cot underneath our window. We could only see his tiny legs and bare feet. But we could hear him!  He was wailing. His toes would curl as he exerted all his effort into his crying. We knew, as only parents can, that he was really stressed - not just crying.

So, we decided to interrupt the nap and take him home. While they said he had only been crying for the past 15 minutes during nap time, his voice was gone. Never in my life did I imagine I would have felt the way I did. I was eager to take him home, comfort him and play with him. Claudia was in tears.

Parenthood really makes you see the world differently. Being an adopted parent means you always have another dimension to consider. Was he crying because he felt abandoned or because he just didn't want to take a nap? Did he think we would never come back? Those type of thoughts run through your mind.

I really hope Daniel enjoys daycare, makes plenty of friends and gets to experience things he wouldn't otherwise be able to at home. That's my hope, anyway. We'll see what our new normal looks like next week.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Situational Spanish for Parents

I've learned a lot of Spanish after being married for seven years to my wonderful Colombian wife, but my vocabulary has increased dramatically since Gotcha Day.

During lunch with some friends today, it struck me there is an entirely new host of words and phrases a parent uses daily. I'd like to share a few of my most commonly used words and phrases in case you find yourself the parent of a Spanish-speaking toddler.

Ven aca. = Come here.
No hagas eso. = Don't do that.
No jales mi pelo. = Don't pull my hair.
Déjalo. = Let it go.
Tu pañal esta mojado. = Your diaper is wet.
Tu pañal esta sucio. = Your diaper is dirty.
Necesito cambiar tu pañal. = I need to change your diaper.
Quieto! = Be still! (usually said with emphasis.)
Donde esta la pañalera? = Where is the diaper bag?
Te amo. = I love you.
Me amas? = Do you love me?
Cochino. = Nasty.
Estamos tarde. = We're late.
Quieres un tete? = Do you want a bottle?
Parate. = Stand up.
Camina. = Walk.
Muy bien. = Very good.
No pongas tu comida en el piso, por favor. = Don't put your food on the floor, please.
No lo toques. = Don't touch that.
No grites por favor. = Don't scream please.
Pacito. = soft (usually when he is petting the dogs).
Dame mis gafas. = Give me my glasses back.
Dulce sueños. = Sweet dreams.

I hope you find these words and phrases to be helpful to you.

All the best,



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