The words "Tata" frequently echo throughout the house and each time I swell with pride.
I never tire of hearing that infantile pronunciation of Da-da Daniel says. For the past three weeks, I've enjoyed working double duty between taking care of my son and answering phone calls, showing property and trying to negotiate real estate deals. It's been a tough juggling act at times and I'm thankful to everyone's patience - especially Daniel's.
But between the calls and various interruptions, there's a bond that's formed between us. I don't have the same routine as my wife when she took care of Daniel for two months. I didn't have the luxury of being completely away from work. But I ended up with my routine and Daniel is still alive. That equals success in my book.
Our bond is apparent in his smile and the way he laughs when we play. But it didn't come easily. The first week was really difficult for both of us. The second week felt like I had been doing this gig forever. But before I knew it, my time with Daniel at the house was coming to an end.
Our "new normal" begins next week. That's when Claudia and I will return to work full-time and Daniel will go to day care. Claudia and I haven't been full-time at work at the same time since May 21. We've attempted to transition Daniel by taking him to the day care a few times, but unfortunately he was sick last week and we've only taken him for half a day so far. September 15 will be his first full day.
Did I mention the reason for the half day?
No. Oh, well, okay. Allow me to explain. The day care is highly rated. The best there can be supposedly. It has an observation room where parents can stop by and watch their children unnoticed. Claudia and I visited the observation room around noon that day.
It was nap time and all of the children were sleeping - except Daniel. He was laying on his cot underneath our window. We could only see his tiny legs and bare feet. But we could hear him! He was wailing. His toes would curl as he exerted all his effort into his crying. We knew, as only parents can, that he was really stressed - not just crying.
So, we decided to interrupt the nap and take him home. While they said he had only been crying for the past 15 minutes during nap time, his voice was gone. Never in my life did I imagine I would have felt the way I did. I was eager to take him home, comfort him and play with him. Claudia was in tears.
Parenthood really makes you see the world differently. Being an adopted parent means you always have another dimension to consider. Was he crying because he felt abandoned or because he just didn't want to take a nap? Did he think we would never come back? Those type of thoughts run through your mind.
I really hope Daniel enjoys daycare, makes plenty of friends and gets to experience things he wouldn't otherwise be able to at home. That's my hope, anyway. We'll see what our new normal looks like next week.
You said it wonderfully. As parents of adoptive kiddos we have MANY other dimensions to consider when they react certain ways. I always question is this adoption related or just toddler related ;) as well. For both of my girls I have different aspects to consider.
ReplyDeleteDaniel will continue to bond with the daycare staff. Mom and Dad will start to discern between adoption vs. toddler and before you know it your new "normal" will settle in. Give yourselves time to adjust emotionally and organizationally for the next month.
I can tell you that dropping Alejandra at preschool was SO difficult at first. But, she has made great little friends and had an opportunity to learn from other adults and peers. Alejandra goes to 2 different preschools and with those experiences she has been able to plant in a garden, bake or cook almost daily, learn new songs, play new games, spell her name, count in English and Spanish, play on a xylophone....the list goes on and on. She still loves us just as much and we love her just the same.
Little Amaya starts preschool in January so we will see how that goes...