Situational Spanish for Parents

I've learned a lot of Spanish after being married for seven years to my wonderful Colombian wife, but my vocabulary has increased dramatically since Gotcha Day.

During lunch with some friends today, it struck me there is an entirely new host of words and phrases a parent uses daily. I'd like to share a few of my most commonly used words and phrases in case you find yourself the parent of a Spanish-speaking toddler.

Ven aca. = Come here.
No hagas eso. = Don't do that.
No jales mi pelo. = Don't pull my hair.
Déjalo. = Let it go.
Tu pañal esta mojado. = Your diaper is wet.
Tu pañal esta sucio. = Your diaper is dirty.
Necesito cambiar tu pañal. = I need to change your diaper.
Quieto! = Be still! (usually said with emphasis.)
Donde esta la pañalera? = Where is the diaper bag?
Te amo. = I love you.
Me amas? = Do you love me?
Cochino. = Nasty.
Estamos tarde. = We're late.
Quieres un tete? = Do you want a bottle?
Parate. = Stand up.
Camina. = Walk.
Muy bien. = Very good.
No pongas tu comida en el piso, por favor. = Don't put your food on the floor, please.
No lo toques. = Don't touch that.
No grites por favor. = Don't scream please.
Pacito. = soft (usually when he is petting the dogs).
Dame mis gafas. = Give me my glasses back.
Dulce sueños. = Sweet dreams.

I hope you find these words and phrases to be helpful to you.

All the best,

Back in the U.S.A

After almost six weeks in Bogota, Colombia, we are back and seeing the benefits of being in our home with Daniel the first week.

Daniel did amazingly well during the five hour flight from Bogota to Houston, and the three hour flight from Houston to Nashville on July 3. While going through Customs and Immigration in Houston, Daniel became a U.S. citizen.

Claudia and Daniel disappeared into one of the Immigration and Customs offices for about 15 minutes. When their meeting ended with the Immigration officer, he extended his hand to Daniel for a shake and said, "Welcome to the United States of America."

Daniel eyed the gentleman with a skeptical expression.

Both sets of grandparents and Claudia's sister and brother-in-law were waiting for us at the airport. Daniel wore a red Colombian t-shirt and Claudia and I wore shirts made by her sister Ana Maria and niece. The shirts were great and proudly said, "Daniel, we are a forever family!"

Naturally, he received a lot of love and attention from his new family. It was a little much for him at one point because he broke down and cried. That said, he was comfortable in my arms. I guess we're attached now.

Adoption experts say to expect continued improvements when a child arrives home. We've been home for four days. Daniel is sleeping and eating great. He is fascinated with his two new doggies, Missy (Cocker Spaniel) and Pebbles (Pomeranian). The doggies are interested in him but with somewhat less enthusiasm.

All indications say he feels at home. Claudia's cousin postulated that in Colombia nothing smelled like his parents, but at home everything smells like us. Naturally, if everything feels like his parents then he must feel more comfortable.

Everything Daniel sees, smells and hears is completely new to him. I took him for a morning walk the other day through our neighborhood. First, it was 90 degrees. That's about 40 degrees hotter than he is used to in Bogota. Second, without buses, taxis, pedestrians, dogs, various stores, street vendors, and constant bumps and jumping curbs, our neighborhood must be incredibly boring to Daniel. We may need to jump the sidewalk curbs every other house just to keep things interesting for the little guy.

Daniel spent about thirty minutes at our neighborhood swimming pool yesterday. He loves the pool! The little guy was kicking with his feet and waving his hands to make as many splashes as possible. The grin on his face was so large he could have swallowed all the water in the pool.

"We'll need to make sure he get swimming lessons," said Claudia after watching him joyfully play in the pool.

Claudia and I are committed to speak Spanish at home with Daniel. We have been married for about seven years and have never implemented this as a house rule, but now it is very important if Daniel is to be bilingual.
Case-in-point, after being home for two days he was already saying bye-bye and waving his hands bye.

We will forever cherish our experiences in Bogota with Daniel. They are part of our journey to parenthood. Now we are establishing our routines at home and providing Daniel the stability and security he needs.

Day 28: With End Approaching It's Time to Shop

With hopefully only a couple of weeks left in Bogota, it was time to start hunting for gift ideas for friends and family.

We believe Sentencia will be Tuesday based on our last conversation with Lucia. It will be only a matter of time before we can return to the States once Sentencia is behind us. So time is becoming a valuable commodity for us.

We had an early breakfast and headed outside The day was gorgeous. Blue skies and sunshine with a few white clouds here and there.

We visited a flea market near the condo. Basically, it's a vacant lot between buildings on a main road. Someone bought the lot and then sold or rented 10' x 10' spaces to local vendors. Walking through the flea market makes me feel as though I'm going to meet that guy from Gremlins who sold the Magwai to the dad. It's an interesting spectrum of merchandise, but includes several typical Colombian-made items too.

Daniel was a trooper during the entire day. He wasn't fussy and relaxed most of the time while in his stroller. He also ate a great lunch. It's been difficult to get him to eat solid foods for the past few days, but fortunately today he decided he'd give chewing another attempt.

During the afternoon we went to Santa Fe to avoid an afternoon shower. We visited a children's play area and let Daniel burn off the calories from lunch. Watching him interact with the older children is fun to watch. He so wants to be a big kid and do big kid things.

Daniel loved playing with the other children, but would look for either Claudia or I. This is a great thing because it indicates our attachment is going well. He also looks to us to comfort him when he bumps his head, falls down or other such event. We make a big deal out of ever knock or fall. Doing so helps him attach with us.

By the time we returned to the condo, Daniel was worn out and ready for dinner and bed. He has acted wonderful the past few days and we feel as though he is really starting to view us as his parents.

Day 22: Progress Being Made on All Fronts

We have seen great progress with Daniel during the past two days.

He has slept the entire evening for the past two days. This is a significant improvement from the past several days. We are trying to establish a routine and put him to bed at 8:30 p.m. He has woken up at 7 a.m. the past two days in a good mood and not woken up during the night at all. As I write this, I hope I'm not jinxing us for tonight!

Daniel is also feeling better. He still has a cough and a little bit of congestion. It is much better than last week though.

He plays with each of us. Today he sought me out a lot! It was great to look down and see him climbing up my leg several times. Most of his moody outbursts are simply normal for a child his age. On the other hand, he occassionally has a preference still for Claudia. This is normal for a child recently adopted. They are experiencing a lot of changes in their lives and many children only have the ability to "open up" or connect with one person at a time.

After talking with our social worker in Nashville, we have noticed a few behaviours that could be him grieving the loss of his foster mother and best friend. We noticed he moves around a lot while sleeping. Many children don't sleep well and their grief is manifested in light sleeping or tossing and turning.

We still don't have a return date yet but hope to know something next week. Our attorney needs about two weeks after our Integration Meeting (which was held 6/9) to do several legal "things" for our case. We still hope to be home first of July.

We were hoping to visit Monserrate, a huge mountain that dominates the city's landscape. There is a beautiful Catholic church on top of the mountain known for having one of the few, if not only, statues of Christ at the moment he collapsed carrying the cross. In fact, the city lays along the bottom of a few tall mountain tops that are visible from almost anywhere in the city. Click here to learn more about Monserrate: Information about Monserrate.

Unforutnately, the weather didn't cooperate with us because it was raining some during the day. Hopefully we can visit it tomorrow.

Adios!

Day 21: Looking for Positive Signs

Occasionally it is hard to be positive when you don't know exactly what signs to look for.

We are 95 percent positive every day, but there are little things that stick in the back of our minds and occasionally build up. Our attachment with Daniel, or sometimes the lack thereof, and his persistent congestion and cough are sources of frustration.

We've not had very many good night sleeps since Encuentro Day. That has been somewhat expected. Daniel wakes up crying, sometimes a lot, during the night. Ninety percent of the time we believe it is because he is sick. Sometimes we feel as though he may be grieving the loss of his foster mother and best friend, who was adopted the same week as Daniel.

The hard thing is we can't really tell the difference. It's just too early to tell.

Last night was somewhat of a low point. Daniel constantly wanted to be with Claudia. He only wanted to be with me when she was within eyesight. If she wasn't, then he crawled to find her. He also threw up his milk. He cried on and off until four o'clock in the morning.

Each day we give him medicine using an inhaler and mask, and use saline solution and a suction bulb to help his breathing. In order to do both, we have to restrain him. He pretty much melts down every time. I feel like he hates me afterward. He slaps my hands away and wails. Only Claudia can console him.

Depending on what you read or believe, he may or may not be attaching to either one of us. What we see as attachment to Claudia may just be his survival skills. You know, don't bite the hand that feeds you. This is certainly a process. We're 11 months behind most parents regarding attachment. Our bond is still in the beginning stages. We remind ourselves of that daily.

Despite a sleepless night, we woke up Sunday and hung around the house. Claudia and I spoke about some of our concerns. We hugged. We cried. And when Daniel woke up, we put him in the stroller and went to Santa Fe Mall.

While there, Daniel played on the Caterpillar play set again with a bunch of other children. He was in heaven. He crawled in circles around the other children. He also had Chinese Rice for the first time and apparently it's a winner. He wolfed down several spoonfuls. We're trying out new foods with him because we believe he is getting a little tired of soups.

During the evening, he let me feed him almost an entire grilled cheese sandwich; another favorite. He played with me without trying to hunt down Claudia. He has started to "blow kisses" by moving his hand from his mouth to the targeted person; just not consistently. We've been working on that for a couple of days. We think he called me "Papa," also. Claudia fed him one of his favorite fruits. When bedtime arrived, Claudia was able to lay him down in his crib effortlessly.

Overall, it was a great day with Daniel. We continue to be hopeful and pray for a successful transition and attachment with our son. We continue looking for positive signs each day that indicate Daniel thinks of us as parents. This is our prayer. Please keep us in yours.

In Him,
Claudia, Brian and Daniel