Good News to Share

On March 8, 2011 at 2:16 p.m. my cell phone rang while I was at the office.

It was from Children's Hope International, our adoption agency in St. Louis, MO., and I got a little scared. I didn't want to answer the call. This was one of those moments in life that you have been anxiously waiting to arrive. When it is staring at you in the form of a call on your cell phone's i.d. waiting for you to answer, you question how prepared you are for the inevitable next moments.

When I answered, our social worker Nichole greeted. me. "I have some good news." Our dossier was approved by Colombia, she said. The dossier is essentially our entire lives on paper. Medical records. Tax returns. Photos of our family and house. Referral letters from friends. Fingerprints and background checks. Mini-biographies. Notarized psychological reports. And several other items that would take their own blog post to include.

After all these months of paperwork and notaries, Colombia accepted our dossier without any additional requests. Yeahhhhhhhhhhh! :  )

Of course, for us what seems like such a long and slow process is actually incredibly fast by comparison to the process for non-Colombian families. Since I am from Colombia, the government treats us as a Colombian family and the waiting period is shorter.

Different types of emotions ran through my mind. I was crying but at the same time I was happy to hear the good news. We were finally on Colombia's official waiting list to receive a child.

"How do you feel," Nichole asked.

"I'm really happy to hear this news," I replied. "This is really exciting."

"Well, I may have some other good news for you," she said. "It looks like Colombia may already have something waiting for you."

I said, "What do you mean?"

"It looks like they may already have a baby for you guys," Nichole said.

"What?" I exclaimed, and at that point I was in shock.

"If this is true, then you would be the first couple to get the approval and the referral at the same time," Nichole said.

I was crying and wanted to get a lot more details about the baby but she didn't have any additional news to share.

"You need to get your feet back down to earth because you have a lot of paper work that needs to be filled out," she said, before explaining some of the next steps. I could only think about the fact Brian was traveling in Atlanta and wasn't able to share this moment with me in person.

She asked me when Brian would return. "You better keep your phone nearby because I can call you at any time with some more information."

To be continued....

Overwhelmed

It took a few minutes for the conversation to be absorbed, but as it continued an overwhelming sensation began creeping into my mind.

It was a Wednesday evening at church during dinner. Claudia was working and I had the opportunity to stop by church for food, fellowship and class. Several friends were sitting with us. Two expecting mothers. One new mother. And three husbands.

The expecting mothers were talking about where and when they had registered for baby clothes, furniture, accessories and bottles. They debated about the pros and cons between different style bottles. They expressed surprise at how expensive baby monitors were and their different must-have features. They chatted about what they looked for in car seats. Do you get one that has the cradle you leave in the car?

I chimed in occasionally, but for the most part just listened. And then it hit me.

"We've not even begun to think about those things yet," I told the group. "We've been so focused on medical history, tax returns, notaries and apostilles (certifying the notary), photo albums, and biographies. We haven't even begun to talk about those other things."

"Don't worry," one of the mothers-to-be consoled. "You'll have plenty of time."

I explained how the car seat, for instance, really hit me. I mean, yeah, they are important. So important we'll need one while we're in Colombia. I explained that taxi cab drivers are efficient and cost effective on the streets of Colombia, but they are NOT safe to hold a baby in your arms while riding.

"Believe me, the taxi cab drivers won't care if we have a car seat or not," I explained. Mental pictures took me back to a couple of years ago when we drove in a cab that zoomed and zagged, braked, honked at crossing pedestrians, punched the accelerator, zagged again and suddenly stopped. The drive turned around, hand on the front passenger head rest, and apologized for taking so long to get to our destination.

The take away from that meal was that as adoptive parents, we have two processes to experience. There's the paper adoption process, as its some times called when you're compiling all the necessary components for your dossier; and then there is the baby registry, preparing the baby's room and other things.

As adoptive parents, we have to remember patience during the paper process and slow down a little bit to enjoy the fact that there are a lot of fun things about expecting a baby - and debating car seats and monitors and when is the best time to register and where are certainly a few of them.

A New Found Community

Tucked away a block south of Woodland Street and near the Cumberland River sites the historic red brick Tulip Street Methodist Church.

The building is at the intersection of Russell Street and South 5th Street. A historic home is its neighbor and large trees line the street. Leaves are starting to show their first signs that autumn is approaching and summer is coming to an end.

Upon arriving visitors enter into the gated front courtyard and climb a few stone steps to a closed door. After pressing an intercom button you state your name and purpose, "I'm Brian Forrester and I'm here for the parents in training class."

"Come on in," a female voice crackles over the speaker. With the sound of a buzz, the door unlocks.

Inside, the hallway gives way to an opening with stairs on either side going up and down. The church, which was established in 1892, is somewhat of a labyrinth. You can feel the history as you walk on its creaking floors.

Also inside is Miriam's Promise (www.miriamspromise.org), a non-profit tasked with helping birth mothers navigate the challenges of giving birth to a child, and families prepare to accept those children. Both the birth mother and the adoptive family do so as an act of love that benefits the other.

Claudia and I chose Miriam's Promise because after an initial meeting, we felt comfortable entrusting our home study review and preparation to the social worker on staff named Kim. After interviewing each of us individually, Kim visited our house.

The last step we took for completing the home study was to take a 15 hour class broken down into three Thursdays from 3 p.m. until 8 p.m.

On the first day of the class, we were familiar enough with the building to find our way downstairs. We were one of the first couples to arrive. Before long, a couple from Chattanooga and two couples from the Nashville area were placing name tags on their shirts and making good intentioned introductions.

"Nice to meet you," one would say. "Where are you adopting from?"

"We're adopting from Russia."

"Oh really! That's nice. We've already got our referral. We're adopting a 3-year-old from India."

For Claudia and I the classes were beneficial. The topics ranged from attachment and cultural sensitivity to social/physical developmental ages and hypothetical scenarios and role playing.

By the end of the third class, the seeds were planted for friendships to grow with time. We're now part of a community of families who for a variety of reasons have decided to adopt and share their love and blessings with a child. It's our new community.