A New Routine: Staying Home

November is the month of Thanksgiving and there is hardly anything we're more thankful for right now than the opportunity for Claudia to stay home with Daniel.

During the past 18 months, Daniel has morphed from a baby into a full blown toddler. It goes without saying, but time goes by so fast. In fact, the other day even Daniel made a comment to that affect. While trailing behind Claudia at the zoo, he told her in his child-like voice, "Mommy, I'm tired. My legs hurt. I'm old."

And while the little guy isn't quite as old as he may feel, we want to make sure Claudia is able to enjoy the few years he has before he goes to school by staying home with him.

So the morning rush of diaper changes, throwing on clothes and stuffing something, anything, into our mouths before jumping in the car to go to day care has been replaced with a much more sane routine. Daniel still wakes up early, but now he has a little more time to enjoy the morning.

Claudia is still trying to figure out their routine a little bit, but she's doing an amazing job. She's already found a few story-time activities at the local libraries and zoo. They've done crafts together and played with Play-do.

But the highlight of every day and the best part about being home with Daniel is easy for her to identify.

"It's his talking," she says while grinning. "He says some funny things every day."

I have an idea of what she means. When we went to the beach with him for a week in June, both of us were surprised by how much he could do and say. We felt a little guilty that we didn't know he could do so much. It made us realize how much we were missing because he was in day care and we were at work.

We had a great experience with Susan Gray School for the first year-and-a-half. The staff there was exceptional and Daniel made quite a few friends with kids and staff. If you're in the Nashville-area and looking for a day care, then they are worth considering.

But for us, it comes down to being content with what we have and making sure our little guy doesn't feel too old too soon.

Little D Screams for Ice Cream

While driving home from picking Daniel up at day care, Abuela needed to make a quick stop at Sam's Club to grab a couple of items.

Daniel, who has overnight turned into the backseat navigator despite having never driven a car in his life, immediately picked up on the deviation in routine route home.

"Abu, donde vamos," he asked and she replied, "to Sam's Club."

"Porque," quizzed Daniel; to which she explained there were some things she needed to buy. Then Daniel asked, "Abu, ice cream. Danielito ice cream."

Abuela said she would need to call mommy and ask for permission. 

At two, Daniel has begun to master the basic foundations of language and communication. It's really very fun to witness. But what came next was a surprise.

"Abu, no mommy. No habla Mommy. Solo Danielito ice cream," he said; which basically means don't tell Mommy that you bought me ice cream.

Really? (to borrow a Seinfeld phrase)

At two years old he has already mastered to a certain level manipulation, and now deceit. What type of child are we raising? Where have we gone wrong? Is this a natural-born skill that has just now begun to show itself, or is this new-found-talent something he picked up from school friends?

Of course, I ask all of the above a little tongue in cheek. We know we're raising him okay and these are the stories we don't ever want to forget.

God bless,

For The Love of a Dog

Moments before embarking on a four-hour-drive to visit family, Claudia narrowly averted a crisis.

"Can you get Wow-Wow, please," she shouted to me from the car.

Without thinking a second thought, I disappeared inside the house and began a quick search in all of the usual places. Inside Daniel's toy work bench. Inside the "trunk" of his tricycle. Upstairs in his room. Den. Kitchen. Our bedroom. Okay, now I'm running out of places Wow-Wow could be.

A sickening feeling entered my mind. I recalled the last time I saw his treasured stuffed dog. It was a few hours earlier in Dick's Sporting Goods right after Daniel had ducked under some merchandise to disappear for a few solitary moments to go poop.

After discovering Daniel's dirty diaper we jetted off to the house and left "man's best friend" behind. I quickly accepted this to be the case. Thankfully, we had replaced Wow-Wow with Wow-Wow 2 only a few weeks earlier and still had the original tucked away in a closet.

I grabbed the original Wow-Wow, who smelled like a real dog; which was the reason it had been replaced in the first place. But, it would do for the weekend during an emergency.

I called Claudia while she was en route to family to let her know I had returned to Dick's Sporting Goods, but no one had turned in Wow-Wow. So, I had already ordered another one from Amazon.com and would have it in a couple of days.

Crisis totally averted. Whew!

We've all been children at some point which means odds are good that we've all had a treasured stuffed animal. For Daniel, it's Wow-Wow.

He has developed a great attachment to the stuffed animal. He plays with it all of the time. His daycare has noted that he sleeps during nap time about an hour longer on the days when Wow-Wow is with him. Wow-Wow eats. Wow-Wow barks and licks your face. In Daniel's world the little doll does just about everything a real dog can do.

Which is why we jump through so many hoops as parents to make sure we don't lose Wow-Wow.

Of course, we still feel more than a little silly after Claudia noticed at her sister's house that Wow-Wow was laying on the bed, and Wow-Wow 2 was snuggled in Daniel's arms. Averted crisis. Well, it never really was one to begin with.

Meet Me in St. Louis: A Family Reunion of a Different Sort

Summer 2012 has been a time for us as a family to enjoy some great American past-times including cook-outs, swimming pool, beach vacation and family reunions.

We recently attended the Children's Hope International Family Reunion in St. Louis to celebrate 20 years of helping adoptive parents and children meet. Families from around the country who have been touched by this wonderful organization traveled to the Gateway City for a weekend of fun and fellowship.

Dwight Gantt, who founded CHI, spoke about God's plan and reflected on His hand's influence on his life. Specifically, Gantt talked about how the hundreds of families who have adopted through CHI have been positively impacted by the events that eventually led to the organization's founding. From humble beginnings assisting one family adopt from China, CHI has helped thousands of families adopt from China, Russia, Colombia, Ethiopia and others.

Daniel had a great experience traveling with us. After a few road trips, he has begun to enjoy the adventure a little more.

We visited the St. Louis Zoo for the first time. It is a wonderful zoo that is offered to the public for free. Thanks to donations from generous individuals and companies, patrons can see a lot of different animals. The highlight of our visit was watching a couple of baby elephants swim for apples and a rhinoceros grunt and huff around to beat the 105 degree heat.

We also enjoyed some live music underneath the St. Louis Arch while the sun set. Daniel loves music and had a blast watching the people and saying, "Yee Haw," at the end of songs.

We met a few families during our trip; including a couple who had adopted two sisters from Colombia. It was really special to meet them and make some more connections with families with Colombian-born children.

By the end of the trip, we realized how much fun we had during the past couple of days. More importantly, we realized we were part of a much larger adoptive family through Children's Hope International. We can't wait to go back next year.

Mano, Sleep and Things that Go Squeak

With an ever-so-slight withdrawal of my hand, I had accomplished something I hadn't done in literally  months.

Daniel was asleep in his crib and I had been the primary parent involved. Every single night for as long as I can remember, the bedtime routine involved Claudia putting Daniel to bed. For whatever reason, I wasn't quite the same in Daniel's mind.

On this particular evening, however, Claudia was out with some friends and the evening routine was left in my hands.

It began with Daniel drinking a bottle while snuggled on the couch with me and watching a T.V. show. As time went on, it became obvious Daniel was becoming drowsy and ready for bed.

"Ready to go to sleep, buddy," I asked.

"Yes," he said and nodded for extra emphasis.

I pulled him up in my arms. We said, "Night-Night," to our dogs, the living room, kitchen and stairs. I laid him in the crib and he rolled up in the blanket. I thought it was going to be that easy for a brief moment.

As he noticed I was leaving, he whipped around, threw off the blanket, bolted up on his feet and cried for me to come back; which I of course did. As soon as I was hanging over his crib, he was laying down again and reaching for my hand.

"Mano," he asked. I reached out and let his miniature fingers curl around my hand and watched him doze to sleep again. After a few attempts, he finally let me withdraw my hand completely. He was sound asleep.

That's when I turned around and realized why God made our bodies make popping noises, creaky floors and things that go squeak. It's to give him a little laugh every night when parents try their best to slink out of their children's rooms soundlessly.

While my back was turned and I was leaning over Daniel's crib, his room had transformed into a virtual mine field of potential sound-making booby-traps. I can only imagine, God smiles down every now and then at our plight as parents.

I gingerly took my first step and heard my knee pop. I prayed the floor wouldn't make a noise, but of course it did.

CREEEEAAAKK.

I slowly put increasing pressure on the carpet; my mouth contorted as I silently prayed for God's intervention. "Help me be silent, Lord, and please, please don't let Claudia come home right now" I prayed. If she did arrive at this time, the dogs would certainly create enough racket that Daniel would wake.

Daniel rolled over. I twisted my neck to look back at the crib while minimizing my body's movement.  The coast was still clear. Daniel remained laying down. Now time to make sure I didn't bump a toy that makes noise.

Finally I reached the door, which of course, during the day opens and shuts silently. But at night, the noise the door makes as the bottom rubs across the carpet is like a child's nails scratching a chalkboard.

I continued my prayer even though the goal was so tantalizingly close. I took nothing for granted. Then with the swiftness of a ninja, I opened the door enough to slide out and shut the door behind me.

Mission accomplished. Good night.

Raising a Colombian in the USA

Daniel looked down at his plate, grabbed a fistful of arepa and stuffed it into his mouth; but getting him to consume other aspects of his Colombian culture are more challenging.

Gotcha Day is ten months behind us and a lot has changed. First and foremost, Daniel is a full blown toddler. He runs. He plays. He talks. His personality shines more brightly each day and the pace of his learning has increased ten fold.

As adoptive parents, it's important to us for Daniel to remain connected to his birth country Colombia. We didn't change his name. We speak Spanish at the house. We attended Novenas during Christmas. We cook arepas and arroz con pollo. We listen to Colombian music and translate English books into Spanish while reading to him before bed time.

We're not abnormal. Many parents of Internationally adopted children do the same type of things. Why? It's because a child's native country is a part of him or her and should be celebrated and encouraged rather than to pretend otherwise. When we've explained our desire for Daniel to speak Spanish, for example, we've had more than one person make comments as though we're in denial of the enevitble and I feel as though I have to defend or explain our rationale. Sometimes it's unspoken and other times it's said out right, "well, he needs to speak English too."

The opposite is true. We want him to be bilingual, but Daniel is exposed to English so much that he is already displaying a preference toward it and could lose Spanish completely if we weren't on constant vigil. Here's a great example of a frequent exchange he and I have.

"Up," he exclaims to me with his arms outstretched.

"No entiendo," I reply.

"Arriba," he says, and I pick him up.

So despite the fact Claudia is from Colombia, we have begun to realize how difficult it will be for us to raise a Colombian in the United States. We admit, on the other hand, that we are blessed to be able to speak with him in his native language at all since many parents of adopted children don't have that resource.

I'm not admitting defeat, only acknowledging the challenge. Our culture has some great aspects, but so does Colombia and we want Daniel to have the best of both worlds.

Looking Back And Forward at the Midway Point

Standing over Daniel's crib, it occured to me that he is only a couple of weeks from being 20 months old.

There isn't much particularly special about that milestone for most kids. It's the equivalent to turning 22 years old - nothing special.

That's not the case for Daniel however. At 20 months he will have spent exactly half of his life with his foster mother and half his life with us, and each day going forward his time in Colombia will become a smaller and smaller percentage of his total life. With his time in Colombia quickly fading into the distance of the past, we enevietably ask ourselves, "what will he remember from Colombia?"

"Do you think if his foster mother walked into the room that he would recognize her,"asked Claudia.

I pause and reply, "it is hard to say. He is shy with strangers but warms up quickly to them."

"Do you think he remembers Colombia," she asks.

"I don't think so. Not at this point," I reply. "But we will go back to visit every couple of years. You still have family and friends who we can visit and we will take him to see places that were part of the adoption process like where we picked up his Colombian passport."

We try to maintain his Colombian heritage in the house. We participated in a couple of Novenas during the days leading up to Christmas. We play Colombian nursury music and we speak Spanish at home. We do what we can.

But the reality is he will only have photos and video to remember his days living in Colombia. Looking forward, he will have so many more opportunities than he would have probably had in Colombia. That's what is so exciting about thinking of his future.

Standing over his crib, Claudia and I watch him pull the blanket over his face and say, "night night."

He is completely happy. As I watch him fade off to sleep, I can't help but smile at the thought of watching him grow up. There are so many things I want to do with him when he gets older that he can't do yet like going for a hike or camping. Of course, I don't lose sight of enjoying Daniel's 20th month and all the other months between now and our first camping trip.

Creating Margin with a Child

With all of life's daily activities and obligations pulling us, often times in different directions, it is hard to take time to slow down and relax.

Every day is go-time when Daniel wakes up until he goes to sleep. I often recall our interview with his nutritionist just before we met him. She described Daniel as active, and then as if to emphasize just how active, she made hand gestures as though a child were climbing up over her shoulder and around her neck. Yeah, that active.

During the fall, Thanksgiving and Christmas times, we were either traveling, committed to some sort of activity or had family in town. The next thing we knew, we were spit out into 2012 and nearly through with January before we caught our breathes.

Which brings me to the point of this blog post. We are going to try making a more conscious effort to create margin in our schedules to relax, slow down and enjoy not doing anything.

It's a Biblical principle. God rested after probably the most productive week in history. Christ began his ministry with 40 days alone in the desert and frequently pulled back from the crowds to pray either alone or with his closest disciples.

And so, we want to follow our Lord's example as best we can.

What are the benefits of creating margin? For one, it will permit us to rest; the value of which shouldn't be under estimated. Secondly, we'll be able to spend more focused time with Daniel at one of the most crucial times of his development. Instead of filling our schedules with fluff, we intend to be deliberate in our interactions with him.

God has blessed us beyond our imaginations with placing Daniel into our lives. He is our answered prayer and it seems incredibly short-sighted to let life's distractions prevent us from being intentional with how we raise our son. At least on the weekends, for starters, no more frivolous Facebook, work email, twitter, etc competing with play time with Daniel.

For example, on Friday I left work early to pick Daniel up from day care. We visited a park on the way home. The weather felt like spring time instead of the typical freezing January temperatures. We walked on the dirt path until we came to a small wooden bridge that crossed a babbling creek.

There Daniel plopped himself down on the bridge with his legs pointing straight ahead. He loved watching the water. I noticed a bunch of pebbles by the foot of the bridge and gave one to Daniel to see if he would throw it into the creek.

Surprisingly, he didn't know what to do; so I took a rock and tossed it into the creek. Splash! Daniel grinned. I gave him another rock and he mimics my motion. The only problem was he didn't release the rock. So I repeated the example. Again, he mimics me but holds on to the rock. The third time I lead his hand and flick the rock out of it and watch it sail through the air and land into the water. 

Yeah! At this point, he understands how to throw the rock into the water. I hand him rocks one-by-one and he throws them into the water. We repeat this for a few minutes before continuing down the trail. 

The fact I actually taught him how to throw a rock into the creek really struck me. That's a skill, if you want to call it that, he will use the rest of his life. In fact, he'll improve on it and one day be able to skip the rock across the water. 

We never would have gone to the park if we hadn't created the time to do so. I would have missed out on that moment for who knows how long. How many other awesome moments and life lessons are just waiting to be experienced and learned?

I don't know, but we're going to make the time to find out. I promise.

Our 1st Family Vacation

Daniel knew something was special every time mommy exclaimed, "Nos vamos a vacaciones!"

On short notice, we decided to take advantage of the fact  Claudia would be off on Martin Luther King's day and go on a long weekend vacation to Pigeon Forge & Gatlinburg, TN. We rented a cabin, packed the SUV and headed out on the three and a half hour drive.

Periodically we'd chant, "Nos vamos a vacaciones!" Daniel would smile from ear to ear and clap his hands.

If you've never been to Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg, then you are missing one of the country's great treasures. Nestled at the foothills of the Smokey Mountains, this area has a lot of Southern charm mixed in with Vegas-style show business. Instead of the a King's Arthur Court and buffet, there is a lumber jack duel show. Instead of the Blue Man Group, there is the Hatfield & McCoy's Family Feud and buffet. With almost 9 million tourist visiting each year, this area has a lot to offer families.

At about nine p.m. we opened the door to the cabin. Daniel acted as though he was in heaven. It was wonderful to see his excitement. He could barely contain himself. With a huge smile, he clapped his hands and yelled, "Yeaaaa!"

He saw the couch, and yelled again. He went into the bathroom and saw the jacuzzi tub and yelled again. He pulled us by the hand to show us his discovery. "Pool," he exclaimed.

Despite the holidays only being a few weeks ago, we needed a break after a hectic start to 2012. It was also our first vacation as a family. We've taken a few road trips to visit family, but nothing by ourselves.

On Saturday we took Daniel to Ripley's Believe It Or Not Aquarium in Gatlinburg. At first he was a little nervous because of all the people and the large building. He clung to my arm tightly, but after a few minutes he warmed up to all of the sea critters.

We've discovered Daniel really enjoys animals. I guess that makes him a normal boy. Seeing all of the different fish, jellies and sting rays was a lot of fun for him. We had fun just watching him. He especially enjoyed the penguins' exhibit.

By the time we left, it was late afternoon. Within five minutes of being outside, Daniel was asleep in the stroller. We, however, were starving and grabbed a quick lunch at the nearby Mellow Mushroom.

The next morning we ate breakfast at one of the many pancake house restaurants in the area. It was your traditional Southern cooking complete with fruit topped pancakes, omelets and grits. While eating we noticed there was a Rainforest Zoo close by. Since we came without an agenda, we thought it'd be a great place to take Daniel.

Once again, Daniel was surrounded by a variety of exotic animals. This time it was lizards, frogs, parrots, poisonous snakes and a couple of porcupines.

He would waddle his way from one window display to another. Standing on his toes, he'd peer inside and enthusiastically wave to the animals. During the afternoon animal show, he touched a snake, toad, lizard and a couple of other things.

That afternoon we took a long nap. Daniel in his pack-n-go, and Claudia and I on the couch. It was a great afternoon.

The most popular activity for the 9 million tourist is shopping. That's not something we enjoy doing frequently. So, like the amateur shoppers we were, we headed to the Tanger Five Oaks Outlet Mall around 5 p.m. without realizing it was Sunday and stores closed at 6 p.m.

We strolled through The Children's Place for a few minutes and then one other store before calling it quits. Tanger Five Oaks is Tennessee's most successful mall in terms of annual sales and we were there for less than one hour.

Each night we watched a Toy Story movie with Daniel before putting him to bed. When it was just Claudia and I, we watched a couple of episodes of El Cartel de Los Sapos season two. It's a Colombian-based show about a drug cartel and one of my favorite series.

When dawn came on Monday it was hard to believe the trip was essentially over. We packed, ate and headed back to Nashville. The trip will go down as one of my favorite vacations so far. No plan. No stress. Lot's of time with my family uninterrupted. Perfect.